After today, after I had to rush to school to help my child, I find myself on the verge of tears. It has been a few hours ... but I still want to cry.
Most days, I am good ... I am not really the crying type. But today, I just feel overwhelmed. The teacher sent me an email asking me my thoughts ... I am so glad that I hit delete and didn't tell her what I was really thinking. About how, even though it was a different school that locked him in a cell, I cannot help but blame them, all of them. They work for the school district, they know what goes on ... And I just get so frustrated with them when they act so surprised that he becomes emotional so easily ... of course he is stressed out at school, who wouldn't be if they went through what he did?
I want to cry because I want to tell them what I really feel, but I hold it in because I know it won't be productive, I will just alienate them ... but my son is under so much stress ... and I don't know what to do. So I just want to cry, because it seems like all the professionals that I go to, all of the help that I have searched for, it just seems like none of it works, none of the diets, none of the treatments ... I feel like not only do I not know what to do, but that nobody does. Today is a bad day, most days aren't like this ... but right now, I just want to curl up on my bed and sob.
Do parent's of autistic children cry more, I wonder?