Category: General guidelines when dealing with autistic children
Suggestion #27: They are not motivated to try to please people that they have just met. Trying to coax or talk them into something they do not want to do may frustrate them.
My son is very shy when meeting new people, he doesn’t want to look them in the eye or carry on a conversation with them. This is also true when he meets new adults or care givers that are supposed to be in charge. Immediately, many adults who are placed in charge of children start to give them directions, even before the child becomes familiar with them. If the autistic child doesn’t know you, they don’t understand why they should do what you say. They may find you asking them to do something that is distasteful to them, and they will wonder why they should, or even if they have to listen to you at all.
Think of it from their perspective, if you went into a place and someone you didn’t know started telling you to do something that you didn’t want to, wouldn’t you be irritated?
In other words, try to make the first couple of times that you are in charge of the child as fun as possible, focus on what it is that they like to do. Have the mother, or a care giver that they are familiar with, let them know the rules and tell them about the less preferred activities.